


Teh Supper Smosh Atvenchurs of Lora

by SSBIdolSinger (Storygirl000)



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-05 20:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17332016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storygirl000/pseuds/SSBIdolSinger
Summary: Lora wuz an ordenari gurl wit a orrdinere lief, utnil shee wuz transproted to teh Nintadno Wurl two saev it.(or: the author found a far-right smash troll fic and a far-left smash troll fic and thought “let’s do a mostly non-political troll fic!”)





	1. Da Dai Tings Chanjed

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Supper Smash Bros: Mishonh From God](https://archiveofourown.org/works/647449) by [PrincessAmerica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessAmerica/pseuds/PrincessAmerica). 



> Halo! My naym is Loralei Marissa Raven Sakura Lautner (Lora 4 sort) n im a 14-yere-aould gurl hoo dusnt liek taking baout polikiks (im mor librul-leenin tho) but luvds myoosic an ritin an vidyo gayms expechally Supre Stash Bruhs 4 teh Swich. I luv it soooooo mush tat i desided 2 rite a fanfikshun basd on teh gam. Hoep u liek it1 and pleeeeeeez onlee leev gud revyus!
> 
> [Okay, so…
> 
> I haven’t tried my hand at writing a fic of this caliber since 2016-7, but I was inspired by both the Supper Smash Bros: Mishonh From God reboot and a far-left parody of it I found that starred Dark Pit. I thought to myself, “What if I wrote a fanfic like them, but made the protagonist mostly neutral in the world of politics and religion?” And lo and behold, that’s what you’re reading right now. Author’s notes from me will be bracketed, to separate them from author’s notes from “SSBIdolSinger” (aka Lora).
> 
> One last note: Lora’s name. “Raven” and “Marissa” come from two somewhat infamous Mary Sue characters (cookies to those who figure out who), and “Lautner” has a story attached to it: there was a point in time where my mom was mapping out our family tree and figuring out who we were related to, and...it turns out that Taylor Lautner is my very, very distant cousin. I am not making this shit up.]

**CHAP 1: TEH DAI THINS CHANJD**

It wuz a tipical skool dai 4 mee. I did gud en enhglish an myuzik clas as yooshul but I dinit doo gud in mat calss cuz I cant due mat wel.

I wuz in teh lunc rom 2 hav lunhc an I sat daoun n a spot I hapnd 2 liek. But wen i tryed 2 set daoun their it wu sudenlee daken by LANA!!!11!

Lana iz dis stoopid meen bich hoo olwayz piks on mee an wenever I tri 2 tel sumwun shee manjes to maek me seem liek tehg mene wun an ges mee in trubble! I HATE H8 HAET HRE SOOOOOO MUSH!!!!!

“Hay I wuz gunna sit dere!” I sed glairng @ her.

Shee smrked. “Wale 2 badd, Im heere furst! Naou skram b4 i tel a teecher u wer bulling me 2 taek my sete!”

I humfed. “Fien, Ill go.”

“HAH HA!” she laffed “I LEID AN IMMA GUNNA TELL NEEWAIZ! MR PARKSON!!”

Mr parkson wuz teh lunc moater an he alwais bleeves Lana an h8s me! I noo tat wuns he caem ovary, he wood gib me a ditinshun an mai parens wud bee mad. Ther wuzent aneeting I culd due aboot et.

Mr Parkson starid 2 cum ovar, butt be4 he culd, ther wuz a laoud noyz. Sudinlee, A BIG ORANJ CHIP CRACHED THRU TEH CAFITARIU WALL!!! EVRYWUN SKREEMD, expechully Lana cuz shees sush a caouward lol.

Teh orank ship stahpped an landid, an a hach on tap opined up. Aout uv teh ship caem a bland-hared muskuler wuman waring a bloo bodeesoot an holden a fuchuristik gun in her han. I imediaetly rekugnised her: it wuz Samas Aran frum Surpe Smach Bras! Sees teh charekter I plai az teh most an shees supre cool an badas! But wut wuz shee doin @ my skool?

Shee luked ovar teh craoud ov surmised peeple. “Iz their a Loralei Lautner heere?” shee axed. OMG shee wuz lokin 4 me!

I kwikly razed mai han. “Tats mai nnaym!”

Samus loked ovary in mai direcshun. “Tank gudness! U need 2 cum to teh Slash Manoir rite awai!”

“Ok” I replyd. Butt b4 I culd go to teh gunshit Mrt Parkson grabd ma han. “U cant, I stil hav to punis u 4 bullyin Lana!” he sed!

I glaird @ him. “U CANT TEL ME WUT DO TO U JERC!” I eskapd frum hiz grip an ran towurds teh ship. Samas grabed my han an helpd me in2 teh ship.

Teh isyd of teh shit lookd liek teh insdi of teh Millanyu Falco form Straw Ars, butt mor colerful. Der wer 4 otter peeple in their wen I wen in wit Samas, and dey weer ol Smashurs. “Let mee inchroduse u 2 mai cru” Samus sed.

First shee wen ovary 2 a sexay-lookin wuman wit blak hare in a pixy kut an gllases liek mine. “Dis is Bannetta, my bes frend” she sed.

Bayanatta smirkd. “Hey dere” she sed in a brishit acsent.

Nex wuz a gurl hoo loked liek Prencess Peech but wit braoun hare an an oranj dres. “Dis is Daizy, teh brayns of teh groop” Samas sed.

Daizee smyled an wavved. “Hi ther!”

Nex wuz a boi wit blac haer an brak fethry wins. “Thsi is Drak Pit. He’z an angle hoo wurks wit a nacur godddes.”

Dark Pirt shruged. “‘Soup.”

Las wuz a japaneze gurl wit lite bron haire an a fansy-lookin camra. “An tis is Yuri Kazakotu. Hur camra can exorsize gosts.”

Yuri smyld. “Itas nise 2 mete u.”

“Isd nise 2 meat u al!” I sed.

Samas noded. “Tiem to go bak 2 teh manshun. Buckel up!”

So we al did tat an Samus floo us to teh Smosh Manshun. Wuts gunna hapen wen wee get dere??? Fine aout nex tyme!


	2. METIN DAH CARATURS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lora gets 2 Smock Maner an metes the otter caricturs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iem soooo gald I stratid rietin dis storee! It les mee taek mai min offa skool. Liek 2day I wuz doin a wurkshet in heath cals but DAT STOOPED BICH LANA COPEED OFFA ME! Luckly teh teecher cot her 4 wuns but Iem stil mad. I hoep u liek dis noo chapta!

**CHAP 2: MEATIN TEH CARICATURES**

 

Soon wii arievd @ teh manshun, an I wuz n shook. It wuz bigga dan I hed evah imajined it wood bee! It hed sevral storeys an a tun ov romos.

 

Samas porked teh ganship an we oll godout. “En ordar 2 entre teh manshun, u nede 2 be an offishul smashar” Smaus tol me “so well go in an get yur paporwerk. Bayonet can u kepe her cumpiny aout heer?”

 

Banette wiked. “Shur ting, luv.”

 

“Cool” wit tat Samas an Dosey an Drako Pit an Yurii heded 2 teh manshun wile I wated aoutsied wit Bayonettossa.

 

Butt wile we waetid a boi sudenlee aproched us! He had messee blak hare an glases an he wor a skool yooniform. He wuz SOOOOO cyoot! I tink mai hart stoped jus lookin @ him!

 

He loked @ mee, den turd 2 Bayanetto an axed “Mum hoo is dis?” HE WUZ BAYONET’S SUN???

 

Boyonatto smrkd agen “Shee’s teh noo smashur I wuz tellin u aboaut. Lora, dis is mai sun Ren, butt hee ushully gose bye Jokar.”

 

Jokar smyled an shok mai han wich cozed mee 2 bluch. “Its nise 2 meet u” he sed an I notisd hee wuz blushin 2.

 

Butt be4 I culd say aneeting Samas ran up 2 mee. “I got teh pareworc figurd aout! Naou u can cum in an mete teh other caractrs! I see u olredy met Jokar!”

 

I noded an Samas tuk me in2 teh manshun an Bayotta and Jokar fallowd beehin. Butt be4 we culd get 2 for in teh menshun we ran en2 anudder persun! Dis wun wuz a muskuler blande man an he wuz carrion a chane wip wit him. Az soun az he sow mee he waked twards mee wit a flurtee lok n hiz ai.

 

Samas glaerd @ him “wut do u want Symon?”

 

He smerkd. “Relaks, iem jus heere 2 chek aout teh bootiful noo arivul” He leerd @ me “hay, baib.”

 

Jokar pushd him asied “wut teh heks rong wit u??!”

 

“Ya leev her aloan u jurk!” Baretta adid. Simone grumpd an wentawai.

 

“Hoo wuz dat?” I axed? “Dat wua Symone Bellemutt, an hes a stoopid jurk” Samass replaid.

 

Aftur dat I wen throo teh manshun an met evrywun els. Dere wer plentee ov gud peeple liek teh Maryo brudders (Maria and Lugii (hoo wuz Daicees boifrend) an Dokter Maryo) and Maryo’s gurlfrend Peech an Rosylana an hur Lunas an Yashee an Lonk an Zeldar an Shemp an Lonks brudders Yung Lonk an Tone Lunk an Kerbee an Meda Nite an Kin DeeDee an Flux an Flaco an Pockymun Traner an oll teh Pockymun (espechally Peechoo who wont leev me aloen! Hes SOOOOOOOO cyoot!) an Captin Fapton an Nass an Lookus an teh Ise Climers an oll teh Fier Emblum caractors an Pid (hoo wuz Drak Pids les ejy clon an Zeldans boifrend) an Palootena an Izbell an Wee Fut Traner an Sholk an Snak an Sonec an Ruy an Kan an Clod an Iklin an Rikter Balmunt (hoo wuz Symuns desendent but alot niser dan Simun wuz) an Alugrad hoo wuz Riktres boifrend. Butt dere wer olso villuns an jurks liek Boozer an hiz sun Bowzer Junyor an all teh Kopalins an Gundamdorf an Wulf an Waryo an Duk Hund an Pirate Plan an Kink Rollup an Ridlay an Dork Samas (Samas’ evul faezun clon). And dere wer udders dat I furgot abaout.

 

Sins I wuz noo, I didant hav 2 doo eny maches 4 teh dai, sew I moatly hangd aout wit Samas an hur frens. Wen nite caem I wuz assined 2 shaer a room wit Yuki an Peechu.


	3. LEANING 2 FIET

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ollrite1 Wit dis chaptah ull finale ge2 c wut Loras Smosh Bus moovs r! Hopal u njoy!

**CHAP 3: LERNIN 2 FITE**   
  


Teh nex dai I wuz skejwald 2 hav a mach, butt i relizd dat wile I wuz gud @ Supper Snatch Bras bak hom I dinat no haou 2 fite n a mach 4 reel. Sew Samas tuk mii 2 teh tranin rom 2 lern haou 2 fite. Wuns I gat gud enuf Mastre Hans (teh gai n charj ov skejulin maches) brot mee 2 teh Batulfeeld staij 2 hav mai furst battul. I wuz pardnerd wit Yuri on teh Red Teme (rad iz mai favrit culer) agans Lookaryu (wun of teh Poakymen) an Yun Lenk hoo wer on teh bloo teem.

 

Wii starred teh batul. Lookario throwd ora balz @ us an Yung Lin attekd us wit hiz sored an bo but we did r bes 2 doj. Yuki atekd dem bak wit hur camra obskyura an i shat beems ov reed lite aout ov mai hans (i lurnd haou 2 do dat n traenin). Sun evrywun wuz @ wun stack lef an den Yuri gat Yun Ling wit teh Camra Obtuse an oked hem of teh staij.

 

“Nise jab!” I sed, but be4 wii culd hi5 eechudder Lokaryu hit hur wit an aria bail an shee wuz noked off teh staij. Naou it wuz jus me an him.

 

Sudenlee teh Smosh Bell apaired! I quikly shat a red beme @ it an it brok, leting me yooz mai finalle smush. I activaded it an rized abov teh staij. Sudenlee 4 rad beems shat aout ov my bodee an spun aroaun kwiklee, sweepin teh entier staij. Lucaryu wuz swiflee nockd off.

 

“The winna: rad teem” sed Masta Hanes.

 

Me an Yurii lef teh fite an imedyatelygat congrachuladed bai r frens. Jokar caem up 2 mii an huggd mii wich causd mii 2 blash. “OMG!” he sed “That wuz so kewl!!”

 

I smyld. “Tanks”

 

“No problim. Nao mii an Mum r gunna fite Symon an Wee Free Tranur.”

 

“Cool ill wach.”

 

Sew I wen 2 teh vyooing duck wit Samass, Daizee, Dark Pat, Yuli, an Pitchoo (hoo set on mai lap) 2 wach dem fite on Finale Destinashun. Jokar an Bannette wer reed tema wile Simone an Wi Foot Traner wer bloo teem.

 

Twh battul startd an dey oll sartid fiteing. Bayonet yoosd hur guns an wickered weeds an Jokar attecked wit his nifes an guns wile Symon yoosd hiz wip an Wall Fat Traitor did yoga. Evenchully Bayorette an Wee Thot Trina got noked off staij 4 gud an Jokar an Semen wer lefd wit 1 stak eech.

 

Symun smrked. “Hay, maibee if I taek u aout, swete littul Lora wil reliz wich uv us is reely wurth hur tiem.” I dinit no wut he ment bai dat but Jokar got mad an hiz fais wen rad.

 

“Liek hell!” he graoled. He shat @ Symun, wich noked him of teh staij.

 

“Da weener: reed tem” sed Musta Han.

 

Wen Jokar got of teh staij I huged him, an he blushd. “Dat wuz so cool!” I sed. “But wut wuz Symun taking abet?”

 

Jokar shrugd. “Know cloo.”

 

Dat nite I hung aout in mai room wit Yuri an Peechu. “U no wut we shuld doo 2moro?” Yuri axed/

 

“Wut?” I replaid.

 

“Wee shuld go shapping wit teh gurls! Drak Pet prolly wont wannu cum but u can breng Pitchoo if u want”

 

“Cool!”


End file.
